


Casey Trips and Falls... In Love

by coffeeandcream



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:52:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcream/pseuds/coffeeandcream
Summary: Casey tops one goddamn time and manages to catch feelings.





	1. The Inciting Incident

Casey ripped his bag from his torso and threw it behind him, not caring where it landed, before diving forward and colliding with his friend. His breath was coming heavy, his head was buzzing, his veins felt like they were filled with adrenaline more than they were blood, and Raph didn’t look like he had much more restraint than Casey did at the moment. He ducked down and dug his teeth into the side of Raph’s thick neck, grabbing the back of his head with both hands and keeping it in place. Raph smelled like sweat, asphalt, and blood.

Blood. Casey could feel the heat of it on Raph’s temple and the metallic taste of it filled his mouth when he licked it off of Raph’s throat. Raph’s fingers were digging  into his hips, kneading the muscles in his thighs and ass, and Casey knew that at any moment Raph would try to make his move, try to hook his leg behind Casey’s and topple him to the floor or spin them around and pin him against the wall, but Casey wasn’t feeling it tonight. Not after what just happened, not with Raph’s blood wetting his hands and drying on his hoodie. Tonight he wanted control. Tonight he wanted Raph, all of him, all to himself.

Casey pulled back, and he knew that it took Raph by surprise by the dazed expression on his face. Usually, once they started, it was more, more, more until they were panting and spent on the floor. But he had something he wanted to say.

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

Raph stared at him, mouth slightly open. “The fuck? Why-?”

Casey cut him off by shoving him forward roughly, watching the back of his head put an indent in the wall with only a flicker of pity, before surging forward and pinning Raph to the wall by his arms. He dove back in to suck and bite at his neck, nipping at his jugular and running his teeth across his collarbone, and his hands reached up to snatch his bandana from around his head and toss it to the floor. His ears drank in the sound of Raph’s heavy panting as the turtle shook his head, probably trying to relieve some dizziness from the impact with the wall.

“What the hell, Casey?” he snarled, and shoved his arms under and between their bodies, pushing him away, but Casey was done. He was so fucking done.

He put his hands between Raph’s arms, pushed them apart, and went back in, pushing him against the wall with a thud that drove the air out of his friend. Casey shoved a leg between Raph’s legs. He ground into him so roughly it hurt himself. He mouthed the side of Raph’s head. He licked up the blood that was there. He dug his fingers into Raph’s biceps so hard he heard him huff out a breath of pain.

“What is with you?!” Raph yelled, shoving back against Casey, but his writhing only drove Casey on.

“You think you’re fucking bulletproof, but you’re not,” Casey heard himself muttering, and his voice sounded deeper even to himself. He sounded hoarse, like he had just woken up. “Fucking dick.”

“More than you - ngh!” Raph was cut off by his own grunt as Casey bit into his shoulder so hard he could taste the warmth of the blood that welled up.

“Fucking stupid. So fucking stupid.”

This wasn’t usually how it went. Usually, it might start with a text. A “hey, come over.” Raph would show up, they would grab a couple beers, Casey would take a step too close for comfort, and the fun would begin. Raph would shove his hands up under his shirt or pull him flush against him from behind, they would abandon their drinks, and spend the next half hour or so in a tangle of limbs, flushed skin, and haphazardly removed clothing. Or they might get back to Casey’s place after a patrol, like they just had, Casey would ask Raph if he needed to get back home, and if the answer was no, then Raph would go for him like the crime fighting was just the foreplay and fucking on the living room floor was the main event.

Point is, two things were different this time around. One, to put it frankly, Raph usually topped. Casey was comfortable enough in his masculinity to indulge his longtime best friend in his insecurities. Two, it was usually way more casual than this. They would crack jokes, wrestle a bit, then fuck until they were both so physically exhausted they felt like passing out.

Tonight, Raph was not topping, and this was considerably less casual. Casey was in a bad mood, and Raph was clearly a little apprehensive about not being the one in control this time around.

That didn’t mean anything about this was romantic. No, shoving his friend against the wall and pulling at the skin of his throat with his teeth was not romantic. Nothing between them ever had been.

Casey was actually surprised they didn’t even talk about it the first time. They had collided with each other one evening, hours after a patrol, in a heated, unplanned mess of a hookup. Casey remembered his brain screaming at him to stop, to ask his friend what the fuck was going on, but his body just kept moving of its own accord. Afterwards, Raph had gotten up, put his belt back on and said, “See you tomorrow, Case.”

Casey had watched him walk away, a billion questions buzzing around inside his head, and said, “Yep.”

They weren’t lovers. They were friends with benefits. They hung out, beat up criminals together, watched shitty action movies, and also fucked every once in awhile. No strings attached, no other expectations. Tonight was no exception. Tonight was carnal.

Casey didn’t really know how he did it without allowing Raph to get the upper hand, but he managed to drag him to the bed and push him over onto it before climbing up and straddling his friend’s hips, keeping a hand firmly on his chest to keep him down. One of Raph’s hands dug into Casey’s thigh as he began grinding down and making his own dick burn with the want, _need,_ to get on with it already.

“You really think you can take hits for me-” he muttered between heavy pants, reaching down between Raph’s legs and into his shell, “-and I won’t be be fuckin’ pissed?”

The thing about turtles is that their dicks secrete their own natural lubricant, and considering Raph was a healthy, young male with raging, teenage hormones, there was plenty of it to spare. Casey hadn’t bought lube in months. As Casey reached down and pulled his hand down Raph’s dick, squeezing it hard and covering his hand in the slick lubricant, he watched his friend’s face.

Raph wasn’t angry. His face was scrunched up and snarling, but he wasn’t angry. If he was angry, he would be looking Casey straight in the eye, threatening pain and retribution with his gaze alone. Instead, he was looking everywhere but Casey. At the ceiling above them, the window, down at what Casey was doing to him, the spot directly over Casey’s shoulder. Usually, he just buried his face in Casey’s neck or back until the deed was done, but this time he didn’t have that option. Finally, he just closed his eyes, squeezing them shut and gritting his teeth. Casey could feel his whole body heating up at the sight of it. He liked this look on Raph. Misplaced, out of his element, not sure what to do or where to lay his gaze. It was invigorating.

His hand was covered with the slick substance from Raph’s dick, and he reached down further, finding Raph’s tail and then the narrow slit that he pushed a finger into, preparing Raph swiftly, roughly, without finesse. He watched as Raph’s mouth stretched across his face in a grimace, unused to the feeling of something penetrating him. Casey licked his lips, inserted a second finger, and drank up the sight of Raph biting his lip to keep from making a sound.

The pressure in his pants was getting to be near unbearable, and he hoped Raph was ready because this was happening now. He reached up, undid his pants, and yanked them and his underwear down and off as quickly as he could, throwing them to the side and hearing them hit the far wall before sliding to the floor. His whole body was hot, the skin of his chest felt like it was burning, and he took an extra second to tear his shirt off too.

He kept a precautionary knee against Raph’s torso the entire time, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere. When he looked down, Raph’s eyes were trained on him, watching him strip from beneath his eyelids. Casey met his eyes, hooked his hands underneath his knees, and pushed forward against his thighs.

Raph’s eyes widened in a panic as his legs spread up and outwards, and his hand shot out towards Casey, not an attack, but just a reach for him before Casey pushed inside him. It was unceremonious, a shove that ended in a smack of flesh, and Raph abandoned reaching for him to throw his head back into the the mattress and dig his hands into the sheets. Casey was fairly certain he heard them tear over the sound of Raph’s deep groan.

Casey didn’t pause to let him adjust. He hiked the turtle’s legs up on the crook of his elbows and thrust in and out, over and over, panting hard in rhythm with his hips. Raph was tight, and impossibly hot, and Casey was losing his mind a little bit because it felt so fucking _good,_ and the noises Raph was desperately trying not to make were so hot, and the way he was biting his lip was the sexiest thing Casey had ever fucking seen.

Casey dug his nails into the flesh of Raph’s thighs, picking up the rhythm of his thrusts, and turned his head to the side to bite lightly at Raphs knee. Raph’s legs were one of his favorite things about his best friend. His goddamn thighs were so thick and muscular they looked like they should be attached to the body of a god, not a mistaken mutation. And yet, here they were. In Casey’s grip, covered in sweat, shaking slightly. They were fucking gifts.

Casey’s gaze was pulled back to Raph’s face when he finally lost it and let a low moan escape his throat, his bitten lip no longer able to hold it back. The sound, almost loud enough to drown out the steady slapping of flesh and Casey’s own heavy breathing, was like music to his ears.

“Fuck yeah,” Cassie muttered vehemently, and he leaned forward to bite at Raph’s neck once again. “That is so hot.”

Raph growled. “Shut up.”

Casey nipped at the particularly sensitive spot at the back of Raph’s jaw, making him squirm. “No.”

He pushed himself onto his hands, holding his torso over Raph’s as he did what he had to admit was an impressive job of keeping up the rhythm of his thrusts considering he didn’t have anything near the leg strength or stamina of Raph. He looked over the turtle’s face and grit his teeth. He was still squeezing his eyes shut and scrunching up his face, turning his head to the side, refusing to even risk eye contact, and for some reason that bothered Casey. But eye contact had never been a thing that they did. So he held himself back from grabbing Raph’s jaw and forcing him to look at him.

Besides, he could feel himself getting close now, and he knew that Raph was in the same state. His jaw was tensed, his fingers were digging into Casey’s flesh, and his thighs were crushing Casey’s hips. His breathing was getting erratic.

Casey tried not to cry out in pain as Raph reached up and scratched at his back, no doubt leaving long, deep marks in his skin. He just cupped his hand around the back of Raph’s thigh, bit his lip, and trained his eyes on Raph’s face as the mutant came all over his stomach.

And as Casey watched, Raph’s face seemed to open up right before his eyes. His head tipped back, his eyebrows knit upward, his mouth opened, and for a brief, brief moment, he looked so unbelievably vulnerable, Casey couldn’t pry his eyes away. He couldn’t even blink. He just watched in fascination as the expression slowly crumpled back down to the guarded, furrowed one it was before.

Then he buried his face in the pillow next to Raph’s head and came.

 

* * *

 

He let Raph shower first. As he lay on his bed, staring up at the random swirling pattern that seemed to be so popular with ceilings, he felt like he was right back to the first time they had ever done this. His mind was filled with confusion, question after question running through his head, but mostly he just wanted to know, “What the fuck was that?”

And Raph, just like the first time, rolled with it. Like nothing unusual had happened. He just caught his breath after Casey rolled off of him, grabbed his phone to text home, and said, “Leo doesn’t have a problem with me sleeping here tonight, so I’mma crash here, if that’s okay.”

And Casey, his mind going a mile a minute, had said, “‘Course, man, whenever. You can have first shower.”

So Raph had gotten up, pulled off his padding and wrappings, and walked away toward the bathroom. Leaving Casey alone to drive himself insane.

He reached down and absentmindedly fingered the tear in the sheets that Raph’s grip had made, thinking about how his friend had felt underneath him, how it felt to pin him down and make him cry out. How it felt to watch Raph’s stubborn walls crumble beneath him.

He sighed as he realized he was tearing the hole even more and brought his hand up to his mouth to bite his nail instead.

Raph came out of the bathroom, a waft of steam following him, and he threw a damp towel on the floor before flopping face-down onto the bed beside Casey.

“All yours,” he said, voice muffled by the pillow. As Casey got up to take his turn, Raph lifted his head. “Hey. You’re not, like, actually mad at me for taking that hit for you… are you?”

Casey paused. He looked down at the turtle, considering. “I was, but I think I got it all out of my system. No worries, bro.”

Raph grunted in that caveman-like way he had and put his face back into the pillow. It wasn’t until Casey was laying back down, the only light in the room from the moonlight filtering through the window, that he had time to answer that question in honesty. To answer any question in honesty. And honestly? He was still mad. Because Raph didn’t seem to realize that Casey could handle himself, and just because Raph had a shell and slightly tougher skin than him (making it impossible for Casey to give him hickeys, a very sore spot that they didn’t discuss), that didn’t mean it was okay to throw himself in the way of strikes meant for Casey. He wasn’t invincible.

Casey sighed. He wasn’t even sure what any of this had to do with his larger problem, which was the big… thing. The thing that just happened. He wasn’t even sure if it was an actual thing that happened between them, or just a thing that happened in his own head, but there was a huge shift in their relationship. He felt it. It started the minute they got into the apartment, and it didn’t hit him until he was watching Raph’s face near the end, but it definitely happened. And it was bad. Very bad.

He rolled over, turning to face Raphael, who had fallen asleep sprawled out on his stomach. His face was turned to the side so Casey had full view of it, and he wondered if this was the cause of the shift. Raph’s face. He had to admit, it was a good one. Good structure. His eyes were an amazing color. Nice teeth, even. Casey sighed again. But plenty of people had good faces. What was special about Raph’s face that was making his chest feel so tight, like it was filled to capacity with something warm and was about to burst?

Honestly, it was scaring him.

He reached up to his chest and placed his hand over it, just to make sure it didn’t explode or anything, and continued to stare at Raph’s sleeping expression. His eyelids. His mouth, smushed against the pillow. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way it had looked when it fell apart.

As he lay in that bed, staring at his best friend in the light of the moon, Casey got the undeniable urge to lean over and place a kiss on Raph’s lips. It was a crazy idea. Even though they had had sex plenty of times, they had never kissed, not even once. Casey knew most people did it and that it wasn’t a big deal, but it just always felt to personal, too romantic. Raph had certainly never gone for a kiss. And besides, he couldn’t do it without waking the ninja up. If he kissed him, especially now that they weren’t in the heat of the moment, Raph would immediately know what was up. And as he thought about that, Casey realized that he was fucked. Absolutely fucked. He was having actual, romantic feelings for his best friend with absolutely-no-strings-attached benefits.

He only knew one thing for sure. He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t tell him anything about this. He couldn’t ruin what they already had because his touchy feely ass couldn’t keep things casual. And as he listened to Raph’s steady breathing in the small apartment bedroom, he realized that it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“...Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you think, I love comments! This should only be a 2 or 3 chapter long fic.


	2. Raphael's Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's way too much going on behind Raphael's calm, unaffected demeanor.
> 
> Or
> 
> Raph says fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone hoping for more smut, I'm so sorry, there is no sexy stuff in this chapter. It's Raph's reaction to what happened, and how he views their relationship. I hope ya'll like it! (I promise more steamy scenes in the last chapter).

“Fuck.”

That was the first thing out of Raphael’s mouth the morning after as he sat on the edge of the bed next to a sleeping Casey Jones. He looked over at the sprawled figure, barely visible beneath the comforter, covers, and sheets, and made sure that he was well and truly asleep. Which, of course, he was. He never woke up before seven. Worrying that Casey might wake up earlier than usual was like worrying that the sun might rise earlier than usual. Irrational.

But then, Raph hadn’t been all that rational lately.

He tore himself away from Casey’s side and moved about the apartment, silent as a ghost. The sun wasn’t even peeking over the city horizon, and Casey was so knocked out Raph might have thought he was dead if it weren’t for the snoring, but he still went about collecting his things hurriedly, a silent frenzy. His belt, his sai, his mask, everything he had come with. He always made sure to never leave anything at Casey’s place. No mark of his presence. Like a good ninja. Like a not-boyfriend.

Raph grimaced as he thought about last night. He was a fucking idiot. He knew he was. He had spent a good amount of his shower last night standing with his head against the shower wall, absolutely panicking. Wide-eyed, hyperventilating, scared-shitless panicking. It took everything in him not to run home that night.

“Fuck,” he whispered again, unable to hold it back. He was so- He looked back at the bed again and let out a pained huff. “Stupid.”

It was easy to _act_ like it was no big deal, at least around Casey. He had done that the first time too. He had acted on an impulse, like he always did. On adrenaline, on the smell of sweat on Casey’s skin, and it was confusing and strange and addicting. At the end of it, Casey was staring up at the ceiling, and Raph was looking everywhere but him, panicking because he didn’t know what to feel, say, or do. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He opened the window of Casey’s bedroom and left. Just like he was doing right now. Because-

“Fuck!”

It would have been different if it were just a role reversal. Because yeah, Raph usually topped, Casey usually had no qualms about him topping. Last night, Casey had topped and Raph hadn’t. No big deal. A warning might have been nice, but neither of them were planners. But it wasn’t just that. It was _why_. It was _how_. It was the way Casey was _looking_ at him.

He huffed in frustration, then hopped out the window and started his run home. The air was cool, almost biting against his skin, and he willed it to clear his head.

He could pretend he was entirely unaffected by this all he wanted, but it would just be another lie. He was, as much as he liked to pretend he didn’t care about anyone, extremely aware of his relationships, of his roles. And he always paid close attention when there was a shift of any kind.

He remembers the night Mikey first came to his room instead of Splinter’s, looking for someone to chase away a nightmare, and he became a protector. He remembers the first time Donatello shooed him away from his latest science project instead of excitedly explaining it to him, and he became a nuisance. He remembers the first time Leo surpassed him in training, and he became a rival. He never missed a changing dynamic.

So what did last night make him?

He wished he could pretend that he was so upset, so uncomfortable because he had no idea what last night made him. That the ambiguity was upsetting him. But that wasn’t true. He knew exactly what last night made him, in Casey’s eyes. And, “Fuck!” Casey was never going to look at him the same way again.

He yanked a manhole cover off the ground and dropped into the sewers below, sliding down the ladder and landing soundlessly. Muscle memory. After the first time, that’s what it became. At least for Casey, Raph was sure, that’s all it was. Something fun that they did by routine. Nothing but bodies working as they do. For Casey.

There were two lights on when Raph entered the lair. One from Donnie’s workshop, as usual, and a faint, flickering one from the dojo, as usual. One for a guy up very late, and one for a guy up very early. Raph didn’t really feel like interacting with either of those guys, so he tried to slip toward his room undetected. But alas, Leo could feel a shift in the air from ten miles away so long as that shift was caused by Raphael getting home late.

“You’re back,” Leo observed from the doorway of the dojo, and Raph turned to him. Lit candles circled the area of the floor where he had been meditating.

“I texted you, remember?” Raph countered.

“I know, I’m not lecturing you,” Leo said, a rueful smile on his face. “I’m just welcoming you home.”

“Okay,” he said before turning to go to his room.

“Did you have fun with Casey last night?”

Raph froze, then turned to stare at Leo. “What?”

Leo blinked back, confused. “With Casey. You told me that you were patrolling, and then you said you were staying at his place… You did do that, right?”

“Oh.” Raph shrugged, feeling stupid. “Yeah.”

“So, did you have fun?” Leo leaned against the door frame, and Raph grimaced at how much he resembled a parent asking their kid how school went.

“Fun.” He thought about the shock of Casey’s teeth, of the anger and hurt in his eyes. Of not being able to look at him, of being open and raw and absolutely overwhelmed. “Yeah, buckets of it.”

Leo paused to consider him, and Raph wanted to slap himself, because where he could just avoid eye contact and jump out the window with Casey, he had to carefully control every glance and inflection with Leo. Leo was like a human lie detector. He was never all that good with discerning the actual truth, but he knew a lie when he heard it.

“Are you alright?” Leo asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Leo. Just tired, okay?”

“Looks like you took a hit to the head.”

“Bullet grazed it, no big deal.” Except it was a big deal. To Casey. Last night. _Wasn’t it?_

Delusional. He was delusional, so delusional, it was just the heat of the moment, stop-

Leo was frowning deeply at him now, probably picking up on every twitch of discomfort, every glance toward Raph’s room, toward escape.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Oh my god, can I go?” Raph snapped. “I’m tired.”

A sigh, a glance back at his candles, and tired nod let Raph loose, and he walked a bit too quickly toward his room. He _was_ okay, he was just trying to resist the urge to literally beat his head against a wall until he passed out or died, whichever came first, but he was okay. He closed the door behind him, and instead of throwing himself on his bed, or sitting at his desk, or plucking something off his shelves to read or mess with, he just stood there. He was okay. He just needed to close his eyes, and breathe, and-

“FUCK!”

He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, hoping Leo hadn’t heard that. After a few moments without any concerned, motherly knocking on the door, Raph dug his fists into his eyes and sighed.

He was pathetic. He had always been pathetic. Casey was operating on muscle memory. Casey was having fun. But Raph’s stupid feelings had been making their friends-with-benefits arrangement an addictive torture since day one. It had been an impulse at first, sure, but the second time? The third time? The fourth time he had felt as gooey as a s’more and had almost wrapped himself around Casey in an entirely too intimate embrace before stopping himself, getting up, and heading directly home to obliterate his punching bag. The fifth time he had quietly cried in the shower afterwards. The sixth time he had to keep himself turned toward the wall so that he wouldn’t stare at Casey’s lips all night, wishing he could kiss them. By the seventh time, he had managed to pull himself together a bit, to detach himself and have some fun. By the seventh time, he convinced himself he would never have more, and to just take what he got.

But last night, Casey had just… he had just fucked it all up. He had broken so many rules. They were never supposed to bring emotions into sex, never supposed to make eye contact, never, ever supposed to look at the other like… like that. These were unspoken rules, true, but all very important for Raphael’s sanity. And he shouldn’t have allowed it.

But then that night, with the shouting and the shoving and the biting, it felt like what Raph had always wanted, what he could never have, it felt like-

“Fuck.” It felt like _more_.

Casey had kissed his knee. Casey had watched his face as he fucked him. Casey had stared at him with eyes so soft and wide it made Raph’s stomach churn just remembering it. And for a few absolutely insane, delusional, desperate minutes, he thought that maybe, _maybe_ , Casey would get it. Maybe he would finally understand that for Raph, this was just playing at the real thing, touching and fucking to replace what he really wanted.

Maybe he would finally give him what he really wanted.

Maybe he would kiss him.

Raph put a hand over his mouth, and tried, really, truly tried to keep it together. He was so pathetic. He wanted it so bad, he wanted that _more_ so bad, that he actually convinced himself that Casey wanted it too. He knew full well Casey was probably just fucking him because it was easy, because he’s a turtle and where else is he going to get sex, right? For Casey, this was an easy lay, and for Raph, this was the most he was ever going to get. And he had just let himself be pulled apart like that, all his rules broken, all his boundaries torn down, because of what? Because for a bit, he allowed himself to indulge in some stupid, yearning fantasy that Casey was feeling emotions. For him.

And he had spread his legs and let him do whatever he wanted. On the spot. He didn’t even pause to think.

Raph sunk to the floor and put his head between his knees. He felt like he was going to throw up.

A buzz against his side made him jump a bit, and he pulled his T-phone out to see a text from Casey.

[hey u were gone when i woke up. forgot ur leg wrapping gauze stuff here.]

[want me to drop it off?]

Raph stared at the messages. This couldn’t happen again. Next time, they were going by his rules and he would be in control. Next time, it would be casual and rough and fun, like it had always been. Next time, he wouldn’t fucking delude himself into believing Casey saw him as anything more than a quick fuck. Next time, he would take all his shit home with him. He had thrown away all his dignity, all his self-respect for a half hour of sex. For a half hour of imagining that he had finally gotten that _more._ Never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, and comments are SO welcome!
> 
> If any of this seemed choppy, super sorry, I wrote this and then completely rethought how Raphael would react and had to edit it. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing the sheer panic that would go on in Raph's head after something like this because he is the most guarded bitch... We all know Casey would have to make the first move. And again, steamy stuff to come in the next chapter!


End file.
